Is living in the city worth it?

Before the lockdown, most of my time was spent planning the next escape, putting the plan into action or transitioning between the two. First, it was escaping addiction. The stranglehold of alcoholism had begun to suffocate me. Next, was escaping the debt that felt like a ball and chain holding me back. Finally, freedom fromContinue reading “Is living in the city worth it?”

Feeling lost…

For the last couple of months, I have felt lost. A sense of trying to find something amongst the chaos of uncertainty. My mind has been buffeted by possibilities yet I end up chasing threads that lead nowhere. Paralysis by analysis. I have struggled to write. Creativity has been pushed aside by anxiety. There areContinue reading “Feeling lost…”

We all die in the end…

Death scares the shit out of many people. Nihilists, on the other hand, think that life doesn’t matter, as we are pointlessly spiralling to the inevitable ceasing of existence. The last person alive will utter the words “Well, that was all a waste of time,” as humanity disappears. It could be true, I haven’t witnessedContinue reading “We all die in the end…”

The externalisation of happiness.

It’s been said often. It’s been thought infinitely more often; “It will be the next thing that saves me.” “It’ll be the next adventure where I achieve realisation and become enlightened.” “It will be the next lover that brings a deep connection as we wander into the sunset silhouette of eternal bliss.” “Those clothes wouldContinue reading “The externalisation of happiness.”

Loneliness in isolation

My mind can slip into negativity. The futility of life is often dissected in my thoughts. The awareness of the human condition and mortality can leave me with a burning desire to achieve… something. This bleakness of outlook is almost annual. It comes along like a possession. My thinking turns dark and I am leftContinue reading “Loneliness in isolation”

Time of reflection…

Walking through my desolated local town centre reminded me of venturing around the deserted ruins of an ancient culture. The branded stores that people identified with lay silent much like the places of worship of a defunct religion. In this quiet, it begins to dawn on me that society, or more specifically, shops, hold aContinue reading “Time of reflection…”