My life will be better without alcohol…

Lynyrd Skynyrd Freebird plays rhythmically. The iconic guitar solo drives forward these words as its invigorating style. I ponder about the energy of life. My energy for life. My lust for life. I mean where did it disappear for all those years. How did I get trapped in a cycle of destructive mundanity? Convinced thatContinue reading “My life will be better without alcohol…”

To thine self be true – A Poem

I was sixteen years old when I first went out to a pub drinking. I can remember walking up to the door with my chest sticking out like a barrel-chested pigeon. Slowly praying to a God I didn’t believe existed, that the bouncer would let me in. He did. And as a result, I approachedContinue reading “To thine self be true – A Poem”

The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning

Almost as if applying the emergency brake. As if the driving examiner has slammed her clipboard onto the dashboard of life. Quitting drinking is a jolting change. A jarring experience for some of the lucky ones. The unlucky ones crash before the brakes work. I expected the world to stop with me. I expected triumphContinue reading “The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning”

My drunken dreams became my sober reality…

With the end of six months travelling approaching and my return to work slow tapping on the window of my future like a huge Monday morning, I begin to ask, was it worth it? A resounding ABSOLUTELY! People said I was lucky to be able to take six months off from life to fulfil theContinue reading “My drunken dreams became my sober reality…”

New year, new me?

The days leading up to new years eve were an annual tradition of mentally running through the seismic changes that I would be undertaking in the following year. From sobriety to relationships I would plan them all out. I would be convinced that the changes would happen just by thinking they would. That making theContinue reading “New year, new me?”

Why stay sober?

Sitting on the back seat of a bus, somewhere in Sri Lanka, waiting for the rest of the passengers to return from the off-license and it made me think what has kept me sober all this time? It is Christmas time which promotes excessive drinking to either celebrate one’s life or block it out, eitherContinue reading “Why stay sober?”

The fear of missing out

It’s Friday night and I’m in a hostel in Santa Monica. I am alone because everyone in the hostel has gone out drinking… Rewind… It is Friday night and I am in a hostel in Santa Monica. I am alone but not because everyone in the hostel is out drinking. I am laid in bedContinue reading “The fear of missing out”

There’s still time to change the road you’re on…

There’s still time to change the road your on. That was the line from the iconic Led Zeppelin song “Stairway to Heaven,” that accompanied the delectable sight of the Grand Teton Mountain range as we toured through the USA. It had so much meaning because I may have been 3000 miles from home but, emotionally, IContinue reading “There’s still time to change the road you’re on…”

The Clarity of Sobriety

When I drank alcohol, I stumbled through life trying to survive. All I saw was the route to where I needed to get to. Anything outside of this was extra brain energy that I couldn’t spare. I was running on empty, always. The hangovers hung heavy, this, coupled with the shame that I felt keptContinue reading “The Clarity of Sobriety”

Around the world in 180 days…

Today I haven’t had a drink for 1927 days. Tomorrow I embark on 180 days of travelling. If you had told me 1928 days ago that this is where I would have ended up I wouldn’t have believed you. I didn’t expect this. Shit, I didn’t even expect to stop drinking. I’d wanted to butContinue reading “Around the world in 180 days…”