Sober and grateful…

For a long time, I tried to be something I wasn’t. Tried far too hard to be liked and accepted. Acted roles in a life I didn’t like to try and find something or someone who understood. But as I changed like the wind I was often left wanting. That exacerbated my misery. Cemented myContinue reading “Sober and grateful…”

My drinking isn’t THAT bad…

My drinking days weren’t a string of arrests. There wasn’t broken bones. There weren’t many fights. There wasn’t much blood. There were laughs. There was connection. There was chatting into the light of the morning. There was sitting in the dawn drinking cooking brandy from the bottle because everything else had been drunk. There wasn’tContinue reading “My drinking isn’t THAT bad…”

Do I miss alcohol in sobriety?

Every romanticised moment of envy that occurs in my comparison creating imagination, contains alcohol. Each visualisation of how my life should be at that moment is an idyllic drinking scenario. Everyone within that fantasy, known or unknown, is having the most wonderful moment. All of it centred around alcohol like our solar system to theContinue reading “Do I miss alcohol in sobriety?”

Staying Sober…

I haven’t drunk alcohol for many years. I used to drink a lot. Too much in fact. Too much for my body to take. To me, it was like I was getting one over the world. Like the kid smoking behind the bike shed who thinks he’s is a rebel. I wanted to rebel. AgainstContinue reading “Staying Sober…”

Seven years of sobriety…

Wow. Just wow. I couldn’t imagine seven days without a drink at one point. Now, one day at a time, I have made it to seven years. Has it been easy? Of course not. Has it been constant highs and euphoria? Nope. Has it been worth it? Absolutely. I had no idea what to expectContinue reading “Seven years of sobriety…”

Sobriety, The Gift of Peace…

In the crazy days of alcohol abuse, life was dramatic. It was chaotic. It was shambolic. Things were significantly worse than they are now. That’s why I had to drink. To battle on through the shitstorm that was raging daily. People, places and things only served to test my resilience. Alcohol was the prop thatContinue reading “Sobriety, The Gift of Peace…”

A “Pink cloud” in sobriety…

Pink clouding, or pink cloud syndrome, describes a stage of early addiction recovery that involves feelings of euphoria and elation. When you’re in this phase, you feel confident and excited about recovery. Pink Cloud: The Euphoria of Fresh Sobriety (healthline.com) I remember clearly the first time it happened. I’d quit drinking for a couple of years, butContinue reading “A “Pink cloud” in sobriety…”

Making goals achievable…

Many of the experiences I have been fortunate to have in life, were once pipedreams. They were the hollow words uttered over many a drunken evening. They weren’t going to be achieved. They were to be the carrot that kept me running on the treadmill of destructive routine. Always dreaming, rarely achieving. This was ultimatelyContinue reading “Making goals achievable…”

Embracing the uncertainty of sobriety…

Towards the end of my drinking, the thought of the future chilled me to my core. Imagining another five years, living the way I was, made me want to cry. Another year, the same as the previous year, made me want to drink. Alcohol stopped the thinking but caused the negativity. It was a cycleContinue reading “Embracing the uncertainty of sobriety…”

Alcohol is not your friend…

A few months ago, a student was explaining to me the methods used by the local gangs to recruit kids. They would select the pariahs. The misfits. The outcasts. And offer them salvation in the guise of connection. Invite them out as a group and make them feel included. Eventually, there will be a price.Continue reading “Alcohol is not your friend…”