A chaotic mind…

Alcohol wasn’t the problem. It was the cure. It silenced the chaotic turbulence that presented itself as my thoughts. Like standing in an auditorium and everyone is shouting. It’s very difficult to pick up a single voice before it’s consumed in the noise. The ideas lead nowhere as one is killed by the next. AlcoholContinue reading “A chaotic mind…”

Why I quit drinking…

I had to. I mean I had a choice. I didn’t HAVE to. There wasn’t a disgruntled wife standing at the door, coat on, screaming startling accurate descriptions of a situation that I couldn’t understand as reality. There was no threat of not seeing my children. There were no prison cells. No real regrets. Only wasted potential.Continue reading “Why I quit drinking…”

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…

I was painfully shy when I was younger to the point that it was debilitating. I always dreamed of performing on stage but the thought of actually doing it brought me to a standstill. My parents would encourage me to try but I would refuse. When I found alcohol, I believed it to be aContinue reading “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…”

The fear of missing out

It’s Friday night and I’m in a hostel in Santa Monica. I am alone because everyone in the hostel has gone out drinking… Rewind… It is Friday night and I am in a hostel in Santa Monica. I am alone but not because everyone in the hostel is out drinking. I am laid in bedContinue reading “The fear of missing out”

Dealing with emotions in sobriety

Towards the end of my drinking days, I would drink to blackout six days a week. I didn’t do seven because if I could go without alcohol one day a week then I didn’t have a problem. That was the reasoning. In the light of sobriety, the excuses I made were madness but my entire lifeContinue reading “Dealing with emotions in sobriety”

When I noticed alcohol had stopped working…

“What are you doing?” asked the barmaid.  What I was doing was staring into the nearly empty glass in my hand. “Thinking,” was my reply. “What about?” she asked. “Nothing important. Can I have another pint?” I said, before finishing the remainder of the lager in my glass. The barmaid brought the drink over andContinue reading “When I noticed alcohol had stopped working…”