The greatest compliment…

It came from someone that had known me for a good few years. We had met whilst I was in the madness of addiction. We where two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl full of vodka. She isn’t an alcoholic. She has her crosses to bear. We were mixed up in different ways. She hadContinue reading “The greatest compliment…”

Living one day at a time…

2372 days, one day at a time. That’s how long it’s been since I last drank alcohol. The time has passed quickly. The initial panic of the early days of sobriety is a distant memory. Those lonely days of uncertainty. And second-guessing every decision. The fog slowly clearing to reveal a world that I livedContinue reading “Living one day at a time…”

The tree with the toxic leaf…

The increasingly bare branches of a tree demonstrate that it is preparing for change. The leaves have served their purpose. They got the tree through the summer. Allowed it to get ready for the difficult winter. The tree will flourish again next year. With new leaves. The process goes around and around. Shedding. Growing. Blossoming.Continue reading “The tree with the toxic leaf…”

The Well – A Poem

It’s cold, dark, damp and bleak, I want to climb but I’m far too weak, Plus, there’s a voice telling me I have no chance So I sit alone in this unforgiving circumstance. So I sat in the misery for three months maybe four, The disembodied voice castigating me evermore, Slowly in the darkness ofContinue reading “The Well – A Poem”

A chaotic mind…

Alcohol wasn’t the problem. It was the cure. It silenced the chaotic turbulence that presented itself as my thoughts. Like standing in an auditorium and everyone is shouting. It’s very difficult to pick up a single voice before it’s consumed in the noise. The ideas lead nowhere as one is killed by the next. AlcoholContinue reading “A chaotic mind…”

Life is a blank canvas…

Sitting on a bench in quiet contemplation. Watching the people pass and the waves roll up the beach. The sound draws me back into the moment after my mind had begun to spin away into some chaotic scenario that will never happen. The thoughts hit my mind with the regularity of the waves. They canContinue reading “Life is a blank canvas…”

Fighting the stigma of quitting drinking…

For a long time, I thought that being a recovering alcoholic was something to be ashamed of. More so, I was convinced that being a recovering alcoholic was an offence that could result in being dismissed from my job. This belief came from my time in the AA community. Where anonymity is the cornerstone ofContinue reading “Fighting the stigma of quitting drinking…”

Finding meaning after quitting drinking…

Alcohol was my life. My love. My everything. Sad, on reflection. At the time it was my one-stop-shop for life. I couldn’t imagine quitting. “What would be the point of life?” I would ask sincerely. It’s pathetic to look at now. Being an alcoholic for me was like running around a maze in a panic.Continue reading “Finding meaning after quitting drinking…”

From COVID to 10km

In March, I couldn’t breathe. A short walk across the park to the shop had me wheezing. It was worrying. I was reasonably fit at this point but had just been travelling for five months. Tasting all the wonders of the various places had led to me putting a stone on in weight. I’d triedContinue reading “From COVID to 10km”

Why I quit drinking…

I had to. I mean I had a choice. I didn’t HAVE to. There wasn’t a disgruntled wife standing at the door, coat on, screaming startling accurate descriptions of a situation that I couldn’t understand as reality. There was no threat of not seeing my children. There were no prison cells. No real regrets. Only wasted potential.Continue reading “Why I quit drinking…”