Loneliness in isolation

My mind can slip into negativity. The futility of life is often dissected in my thoughts. The awareness of the human condition and mortality can leave me with a burning desire to achieve… something. This bleakness of outlook is almost annual. It comes along like a possession. My thinking turns dark and I am leftContinue reading “Loneliness in isolation”

The importance of exercise

It was Christmas time and there was no sound in the houseNothing to hear, not even a mouse.But wait!What’s this?I think I hear somethingYes, it sounds like someone munchingAhh, of course, it’s Charlie eating and getting fat.He’s using Christmas as an excuse to be a right lazy twat. My exercise routine took a backseat overContinue reading “The importance of exercise”

Finding yourself?

“You’re travelling to find yourself aren’t you?” she said with certainty. “That’s such cliché bullshit,” I said “So why are you travelling?” I didn’t get into the whole conversation about the journey I had undertaken to get this point. How I had crawled from the brink to liberate myself and was now celebrating my freedomContinue reading “Finding yourself?”

How to cultivate a Positive Inner World!

It’s strange how things change. Years ago, I did anything to not have to be inside my head because it was a nasty place to be. Full of ruthless diatribes and words barbed for the sole purposes of hurting. It was a nasty neighbourhood that one day I chose to face. I didn’t think itContinue reading “How to cultivate a Positive Inner World!”

How travelling the world is changing my inner world

Moments occur one after another. Each one destroys the last and replaces it with something improved. My mind expanded and my soul branded. Not every moment is one of expected wonder. A simple bus ride, where I slip in my headphones. The opening chords of This Charming Man pour into my being. It feels likeContinue reading “How travelling the world is changing my inner world”

A decade after seeking help

It gets easier as I go along. The worries that used bounce frantically around my mind at night keeping me awake, no longer show up. I never thought I would be free from this. I never thought I would be free from the ominous depression that hung on me like a lead life jacket. TheContinue reading “A decade after seeking help”

An attitude of gratitude

Sitting on top of the sun pyramid at Teotihuacan, I can see the sights I’d googled a thousand times before. Now, I was here. Like many things over the past few weeks, it didn’t seem real. Like a dream that I would awake from and be trapped back in that old life, the one ofContinue reading “An attitude of gratitude”

Quitting drinking; Pros and Cons

Let me start by saying that these are in my experience. Some of them are shared with people I have met and some of them aren’t. Not everybody has the same experience but I have never met one long term sober person who regretted doing so, that is a recurring theme. I’ll start with theContinue reading “Quitting drinking; Pros and Cons”

Overcoming Boredom and Fear in Sobriety

I spent most of my nights in the pub. Duped by some ludicrous delusion. The promise of greater things lead me to the trap. Every night I would fall for it. The next day I would vow not to fall for it again. Yet with symptoms similar to amnesia I would stagger back, thinking thisContinue reading “Overcoming Boredom and Fear in Sobriety”

My Sobriety, Health and Well Being Toolbox

At the height of my hedonism, I weighed 18 stone 6 pounds (117kg). And being 5’ 10” (177cm) meant I had a BMI of 36, I was obese. I felt like a stegosaurus, lumbering through life, consuming everything in my path. My heaviest weight coincided with some of my lowest points mentally. On reflection, IContinue reading “My Sobriety, Health and Well Being Toolbox”