The Clarity of Sobriety

When I drank alcohol, I stumbled through life trying to survive. All I saw was the route to where I needed to get to. Anything outside of this was extra brain energy that I couldn’t spare. I was running on empty, always. The hangovers hung heavy, this, coupled with the shame that I felt keptContinue reading “The Clarity of Sobriety”

Pursuing happiness through consumption. Finding contentment in sobriety.

When I drank I was often physically sick. I have been so sick from drinking that I have rolled up the mat from around the bottom of the toilet and used it as a pillow because I didn’t want to be too far away from the bathroom. I would wake up feeling a sinking feeling ofContinue reading “Pursuing happiness through consumption. Finding contentment in sobriety.”

Stories from Sobriety – Bangkok and the number 11:11

I had spent the first two years of my sobriety, focusing on staying sober, paying off debt and getting ready to walk the El Camino de Santiago. After I had accomplished this, I felt lost. Like I was drifting through life with no purpose. This wasn’t helped by the fact it was November in theContinue reading “Stories from Sobriety – Bangkok and the number 11:11”

10 ways the El Camino de Santiago is like sobriety…

As a challenge, a friend and I decided to walk the El Camino De Santiago in September 2016. We walked the pilgrimage from St-Jean-Pied-de-Port, in southern France to Finisterre, on the North West Coast of Spain. A total of 600 miles over a period of 30 days. I was just over two years sober whenContinue reading “10 ways the El Camino de Santiago is like sobriety…”

20 lessons learned on the journey back from Hell…

It didn’t happen overnight. It was a constant downward spiral over many years that lead me to the gates of Hell. One terrible mistake after another. One morally bankrupt decision masked by a lie too many. Each fuck up another step downwards. As the heat rose, I needed more liquid to cool me down. Eventually,Continue reading “20 lessons learned on the journey back from Hell…”

Awakening – A Poem

Peering through the fabric of realityBeyond normality disguising mass insanityLike stepping off a treadmill that is in the darkAnd wandering through a beautiful sun-drenched park Therein lies the true-life missionThrough the mind and into the intuitionThe constant negative affirmations with which we are bombardedLeaves the ego off centre, anxious and always guarded To transcend theContinue reading “Awakening – A Poem”

5 lessons of Sobriety from hiking Hadrian’s Wall

Halfway between towns. In a field. Hiking up a hill in the driving rain and cold constant wind. I can’t help but think Why did I do this? I had foolishly agreed to walk the length of Hadrian’s hall in northern England with some friends. At the point of regret, we had walked 44 milesContinue reading “5 lessons of Sobriety from hiking Hadrian’s Wall”

Sobriety; a life beyond your wildest dreams?

“What do you want to do for a living?” I was sixteen years old when this question first had weight behind it. In my head, it had been translated to “What do you want to do for the next fifty years of your life until you retire?” I didn’t know. All I knew was thatContinue reading “Sobriety; a life beyond your wildest dreams?”

This song saved my life…

It was just another day like all the others. I was standing at the side of the road, forcing myself to smoke a cigarette, somewhere between drunk and hungover, waiting for a lift to work. I did this every morning and I felt like this every morning. Eventually, the car arrived and I got in,Continue reading “This song saved my life…”

Stop drinking before you HAVE to!

The hallmark of my life was running. Not as in the fast movement. Unless it was last orders at the bar or the off licence was closing. I used alcohol to run mentally and when that became a problem, I would move. Usually, I would change jobs but on many occasions, I would up sticksContinue reading “Stop drinking before you HAVE to!”