Sober and grateful…

For a long time, I tried to be something I wasn’t. Tried far too hard to be liked and accepted. Acted roles in a life I didn’t like to try and find something or someone who understood. But as I changed like the wind I was often left wanting. That exacerbated my misery. Cemented myContinue reading “Sober and grateful…”

Feeling the feelings…

The emotional stunting effects of alcohol are a quick escape. An emergency exit from life. But switching off the hardships doesn’t make them disappear. They are still there waiting to be felt. The more they are blocked out the greater they become. The intertwining of alcohol and problems is inevitable. Until the fear of quittingContinue reading “Feeling the feelings…”

My drinking isn’t THAT bad…

My drinking days weren’t a string of arrests. There wasn’t broken bones. There weren’t many fights. There wasn’t much blood. There were laughs. There was connection. There was chatting into the light of the morning. There was sitting in the dawn drinking cooking brandy from the bottle because everything else had been drunk. There wasn’tContinue reading “My drinking isn’t THAT bad…”

The good ship sobriety…

Hello, it’s been a while. I haven’t written anything for months. I’ve been swept along by the insanity of life. It all seemed to happen at once. Not a manageable trickle but a deluge. The chaos of closing my house sale, moving in and decorating. Coupled with uncertainty at work. Buffeted by the tides. TheContinue reading “The good ship sobriety…”

Seven years of sobriety…

Wow. Just wow. I couldn’t imagine seven days without a drink at one point. Now, one day at a time, I have made it to seven years. Has it been easy? Of course not. Has it been constant highs and euphoria? Nope. Has it been worth it? Absolutely. I had no idea what to expectContinue reading “Seven years of sobriety…”

A letter to my eighteen year old self

Hey up, Charlie, I know you will probably dismiss everything I say as nonsense but I ask you to read on and reread until what I tell you sinks in. I know you believe you need to live with reckless abandon because you are destined for failure. So why try? Well, I am here toContinue reading “A letter to my eighteen year old self”

7 reasons to quit drinking…

Alcohol adverts constantly show an idealised version of reality to tempt us into the fantasy of alcohol. Young beautiful people frolic joyfully around in exotic locations. All smiles and laughter. It heightens the temptation. But it wasn’t like that for me. There was laughter but it was often followed by tears. There was frolicking butContinue reading “7 reasons to quit drinking…”

Why I quit drinking…

I had to. I mean I had a choice. I didn’t HAVE to. There wasn’t a disgruntled wife standing at the door, coat on, screaming startling accurate descriptions of a situation that I couldn’t understand as reality. There was no threat of not seeing my children. There were no prison cells. No real regrets. Only wasted potential.Continue reading “Why I quit drinking…”

We all die in the end…

Death scares the shit out of many people. Nihilists, on the other hand, think that life doesn’t matter, as we are pointlessly spiralling to the inevitable ceasing of existence. The last person alive will utter the words “Well, that was all a waste of time,” as humanity disappears. It could be true, I haven’t witnessedContinue reading “We all die in the end…”

Did COVID kill the rat race?

Are the mind-numbing moments, in traffic, slowly watching life disappear a thing of the past? Are sweaty summer days, defying physics by sharing the same time and space with a complete stranger on public transport just a shiver-inducing memory? It is hopeful and quite possible! Whilst travelling through Mexico, I met many people working fromContinue reading “Did COVID kill the rat race?”