Feeling the feelings…

The emotional stunting effects of alcohol are a quick escape. An emergency exit from life. But switching off the hardships doesn’t make them disappear. They are still there waiting to be felt. The more they are blocked out the greater they become. The intertwining of alcohol and problems is inevitable. Until the fear of quittingContinue reading “Feeling the feelings…”

Do I miss alcohol in sobriety?

Every romanticised moment of envy that occurs in my comparison creating imagination, contains alcohol. Each visualisation of how my life should be at that moment is an idyllic drinking scenario. Everyone within that fantasy, known or unknown, is having the most wonderful moment. All of it centred around alcohol like our solar system to theContinue reading “Do I miss alcohol in sobriety?”

Staying Sober…

I haven’t drunk alcohol for many years. I used to drink a lot. Too much in fact. Too much for my body to take. To me, it was like I was getting one over the world. Like the kid smoking behind the bike shed who thinks he’s is a rebel. I wanted to rebel. AgainstContinue reading “Staying Sober…”

Embracing the uncertainty of sobriety…

Towards the end of my drinking, the thought of the future chilled me to my core. Imagining another five years, living the way I was, made me want to cry. Another year, the same as the previous year, made me want to drink. Alcohol stopped the thinking but caused the negativity. It was a cycleContinue reading “Embracing the uncertainty of sobriety…”

Alcohol is not your friend…

A few months ago, a student was explaining to me the methods used by the local gangs to recruit kids. They would select the pariahs. The misfits. The outcasts. And offer them salvation in the guise of connection. Invite them out as a group and make them feel included. Eventually, there will be a price.Continue reading “Alcohol is not your friend…”

The Power of positivity…

The mind is everything. What you think you become. Buddha In 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in less than four minutes. It was deemed to be impossible. The specialists at the time said that to achieve such a feat was “beyond human capability”. Despite this, Roger Bannister trained and attempted it. How did heContinue reading “The Power of positivity…”

Stealing life from alcohol…

Sometimes, I look at life as if I managed to pull off a heist. That from the bottom of the pile, I managed to achieve everything I set out to do. With careful planning and patience, the unbelievable become achievable. From drunken stupidity to sober serenity. I look back and think how the fuck didContinue reading “Stealing life from alcohol…”

I just wanted to say thank you… 100th post

I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read my blog. This is the 100th post on here. Over 100,000 words of, well, stuff. I expected to give up after a few months but I get some positive feedback. I started it because I had experiences to share. Battling addiction. LosingContinue reading “I just wanted to say thank you… 100th post”

Clearing out the past…

Some memories are like burned paper. Charred but legible. We tried to destroy them but their blackened remains still lay in the fireplace of our mind. Some of the more negative memories, ones that should have been processed and forgotten, hang proudly above the fireplace. Where our achievements should be the pride of place thereContinue reading “Clearing out the past…”

A letter to my eighteen year old self

Hey up, Charlie, I know you will probably dismiss everything I say as nonsense but I ask you to read on and reread until what I tell you sinks in. I know you believe you need to live with reckless abandon because you are destined for failure. So why try? Well, I am here toContinue reading “A letter to my eighteen year old self”