Life beyond alcohol…

I ponder about the energy of life. My life energy. My lust for life. I mean where did it disappear for all those years. For over ten years I was a heavy drinker. I accepted sluggishness as normality. How did I get trapped in a cycle of destructive mundanity? I was convinced that alcohol wouldContinue reading “Life beyond alcohol…”

The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning

Almost as if applying the emergency brake. As if the driving examiner has slammed her clipboard onto the dashboard of life. Quitting drinking is a jolting change. A jarring experience for some of the lucky ones. The unlucky ones crash before the brakes work. I expected the world to stop with me. I expected triumphContinue reading “The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning”

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…

I was painfully shy when I was younger to the point that it was debilitating. I always dreamed of performing on stage but the thought of actually doing it brought me to a standstill. My parents would encourage me to try but I would refuse. When I found alcohol, I believed it to be aContinue reading “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…”

Pursuing happiness through consumption. Finding contentment in sobriety.

When I drank I was often physically sick. I have been so sick from drinking that I have rolled up the mat from around the bottom of the toilet and used it as a pillow because I didn’t want to be too far away from the bathroom. I would wake up feeling a sinking feeling ofContinue reading “Pursuing happiness through consumption. Finding contentment in sobriety.”

Quitting drinking; Pros and Cons.

Quitting drinking can seem daunting at first. Going against the grain often is. But it has a large number of benefits. It comes down to the personal choice of whether the pros outweigh the cons. *Tip* If you want to quit drinking but are finding it hard then try writing out the pros and cons.Continue reading “Quitting drinking; Pros and Cons.”

When I noticed alcohol had stopped working…

“What are you doing?” asked the barmaid.  What I was doing was staring into the nearly empty glass in my hand. “Thinking,” was my reply. “What about?” she asked. “Nothing important. Can I have another pint?” I said, before finishing the remainder of the lager in my glass. The barmaid brought the drink over andContinue reading “When I noticed alcohol had stopped working…”

What I learned in my first year sober

For the first six weeks of not drinking, I fought the cravings on my own. When I saw the way it was heading I HAD to reach out for help. The phone call I made to AA was the first time I spoke to someone who understood. They understood the cravings. They understood the needContinue reading “What I learned in my first year sober”

I got sober then threw it away…

In 2011, under the recommendation of my Doctor, I started to attend drinks counselling. I was far too guarded to discuss any of the problems in my chaotic mind. I used to tell the counsellor what I thought she wanted to hear. I wasn’t ready for the truth. I would try and one-up her intellectually.Continue reading “I got sober then threw it away…”

Quitting Drinking – A Diary

When I first stopped drinking I kept a journal of how I felt. My girlfriend had left because of my drinking. I went to the doctors to prove her wrong. The doctor gave me a blood test and told me I had a serious drink problem. I only wrote for the first 19 days but IContinue reading “Quitting Drinking – A Diary”

How it all began

“Just admit you have a drinking problem,” she said, with her hand holding the door open, primed like a sprinter on the starting block. “Problem? What problem? I pay my bills, my mortgage, I’ve got a job, I’ve got a car. How can I have a problem?” I said. “Because once you pay for thoseContinue reading “How it all began”