Mental health and reaching out.

*Disclaimer- This is my personal experience it is in no way intended to diminish anyone else’s struggle* Alcohol was my medicine. A belly full of lager made everything disappear… until the morning. I never learned to deal with life. I opted for an escape over reality. I pointed fingers and avoided responsibility. All the whileContinue reading “Mental health and reaching out.”

Seven things I also recovered from thanks to quitting drinking.

My names Charlie and I’m an alcoholic… It’s just a word, alcoholic, but the history and imagery give it weight. Even in this world of gender fluidity and obesity normalisation, the word alcoholic is still synonymous with defective. The threat of being a pariah in a world awash with alcohol stopped me from seeking help. IContinue reading “Seven things I also recovered from thanks to quitting drinking.”

My eight steps to wellness

I remember being perched on a barstool, grasping a desperate pint, trapped by the belief that my situation would continue indefinately. I assumed that tomorrow would be a carbon copy of today. There were no blue skys in my future. There was no hope. I am here to tell you it doesn’t have to beContinue reading “My eight steps to wellness”

I often regretted drinking! I never regretted quitting…

Imagine sitting in the driver’s seat of a car. The car is speeding towards a wall. There is a bomb under the brake peddle. The knowledge that you are facing imminent death forces you to make a call to the partner you had an argument with earlier. You apologise and explain your situation. Your partnerContinue reading “I often regretted drinking! I never regretted quitting…”

What did I learn from relapsing?

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” Henry Ford “Above is a picture of me, just before some friends and I go skydiving. I am 30 years old and have quit drinking for five months. I have managed to turn around my finances. I am in the best physical shape of my life. I feelContinue reading “What did I learn from relapsing?”

Quitting drinking; expanded my world, and my mind.

Alcohol made my world small. I would fluctuate between work, the pub and home. It was like being a sprite in a video game. A character on Sims controlled by a sadist. Or a poor player trying to battle his way through a dungeon. Managing to overcome hurdles but never really advancing. Externally I agedContinue reading “Quitting drinking; expanded my world, and my mind.”

My problems with Alcoholics Anonymous

I want to start by saying that I am grateful for AA. I am grateful that it exists as a place. The idea that alcoholics should meet to share a message of positivity and life beyond alcohol has been fundamental in my sobriety. Unfortunately, the simplicity of connecting is lost in a lot of ideology,Continue reading “My problems with Alcoholics Anonymous”

“I’ve had enough. I have a problem and I want to change!”

It is the end. Five months of travel has come to an end. I am typing this at the airport. I have just achieved my dream of travelling the world. It is a dream I have held since I was in my late teens. It only happened because one day I said “I’ve had enough.Continue reading ““I’ve had enough. I have a problem and I want to change!””

Life beyond alcohol…

I ponder about the energy of life. My life energy. My lust for life. I mean where did it disappear for all those years. For over ten years I was a heavy drinker. I accepted sluggishness as normality. How did I get trapped in a cycle of destructive mundanity? I was convinced that alcohol wouldContinue reading “Life beyond alcohol…”

The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning

Almost as if applying the emergency brake. As if the driving examiner has slammed her clipboard onto the dashboard of life. Quitting drinking is a jolting change. A jarring experience for some of the lucky ones. The unlucky ones crash before the brakes work. I expected the world to stop with me. I expected triumphContinue reading “The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning”