What did I learn from relapsing?

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” Henry Ford “Above is a picture of me, just before some friends and I go skydiving. I am 30 years old and have quit drinking for five months. I have managed to turn around my finances. I am in the best physical shape of my life. I feelContinue reading “What did I learn from relapsing?”

Quitting drinking; expanded my world, and my mind.

Alcohol made my world small. I would fluctuate between work, the pub and home. It was like being a sprite in a video game. A character on Sims controlled by a sadist. Or a poor player trying to battle his way through a dungeon. Managing to overcome hurdles but never really advancing. Externally I agedContinue reading “Quitting drinking; expanded my world, and my mind.”

My problems with Alcoholics Anonymous

I want to start by saying that I am grateful for AA. I am grateful that it exists as a place. The idea that alcoholics should meet to share a message of positivity and life beyond alcohol has been fundamental in my sobriety. Unfortunately, the simplicity of connecting is lost in a lot of ideology,Continue reading “My problems with Alcoholics Anonymous”

“I’ve had enough. I have a problem and I want to change!”

It is the end. Five months of travel has come to an end. I am typing this at the airport. I have just achieved my dream of travelling the world. It is a dream I have held since I was in my late teens. It only happened because one day I said “I’ve had enough.Continue reading ““I’ve had enough. I have a problem and I want to change!””

Life without alcohol?

Lynyrd Skynyrd Freebird plays rhythmically. The iconic guitar solo drives forward these words as its invigorating style. I ponder about the energy of life. My energy for life. My lust for life. I mean where did it disappear for all those years. How did I get trapped in a cycle of destructive mundanity? Convinced thatContinue reading “Life without alcohol?”

The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning

Almost as if applying the emergency brake. As if the driving examiner has slammed her clipboard onto the dashboard of life. Quitting drinking is a jolting change. A jarring experience for some of the lucky ones. The unlucky ones crash before the brakes work. I expected the world to stop with me. I expected triumphContinue reading “The world keeps turning after the room stops spinning”

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…

I was painfully shy when I was younger to the point that it was debilitating. I always dreamed of performing on stage but the thought of actually doing it brought me to a standstill. My parents would encourage me to try but I would refuse. When I found alcohol, I believed it to be aContinue reading “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…”

Pursuing happiness through consumption. Finding contentment in sobriety.

When I drank I was often physically sick. I have been so sick from drinking that I have rolled up the mat from around the bottom of the toilet and used it as a pillow because I didn’t want to be too far away from the bathroom. I would wake up feeling a sinking feeling ofContinue reading “Pursuing happiness through consumption. Finding contentment in sobriety.”

Quitting drinking; Pros and Cons

Let me start by saying that these are in my experience. Some of them are shared with people I have met and some of them aren’t. Not everybody has the same experience but I have never met one long term sober person who regretted doing so, that is a recurring theme. I’ll start with theContinue reading “Quitting drinking; Pros and Cons”

When I noticed alcohol had stopped working…

“What are you doing?” asked the barmaid.  What I was doing was staring into the nearly empty glass in my hand. “Thinking,” was my reply. “What about?” she asked. “Nothing important. Can I have another pint?” I said, before finishing the remainder of the lager in my glass. The barmaid brought the drink over andContinue reading “When I noticed alcohol had stopped working…”