How quitting drinking improved my confidence…

With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. Dalai Lama   It’s ironic, don’t you think, that I used to use alcohol to gain confidence and as a result lost all my confidence. I couldn’t accomplish anything without alcohol. Or so I thought. People used to assumeContinue reading “How quitting drinking improved my confidence…”

The externalisation of happiness.

It’s been said often. It’s been thought infinitely more often; “It will be the next thing that saves me.” “It’ll be the next adventure where I achieve realisation and become enlightened.” “It will be the next lover that brings a deep connection as we wander into the sunset silhouette of eternal bliss.” “Those clothes wouldContinue reading “The externalisation of happiness.”

Three tips for finding contentment…

I know, it’s a bad title. It suggests that contentment is out there somewhere. Passively waiting to be discovered like the deluded dreams of the wannabe next throwaway popstar. And like throwaway celebrities, my pursuit of contentment was steeped in a throwaway mindset. As the dopamine subsided from the last hit of chemical correction IContinue reading “Three tips for finding contentment…”

Seven things I also recovered from thanks to quitting drinking.

My names Charlie and I’m an alcoholic… It’s just a word, alcoholic, but the history and imagery give it weight. Even in this world of gender fluidity and obesity normalisation, the word alcoholic is still synonymous with defective. The threat of being a pariah in a world awash with alcohol stopped me from seeking help. IContinue reading “Seven things I also recovered from thanks to quitting drinking.”

I often regretted drinking! I never regretted quitting…

Imagine sitting in the driver’s seat of a car. The car is speeding towards a wall. There is a bomb under the brake peddle. The knowledge that you are facing imminent death forces you to make a call to the partner you had an argument with earlier. You apologise and explain your situation. Your partnerContinue reading “I often regretted drinking! I never regretted quitting…”

Sobriety, the new normal…

The new normal. It’s all over the news. The world beyond COVID. It’s referred to as the new normal. The same phrase could be used for the world beyond alcohol. Normality is subjective to the observer. For years my version of normal was self-loathing and fear doused in alcohol. I was looking for an answerContinue reading “Sobriety, the new normal…”

What did I learn from relapsing?

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” Henry Ford “Above is a picture of me, just before some friends and I go skydiving. I am 30 years old and have quit drinking for five months. I have managed to turn around my finances. I am in the best physical shape of my life. I feelContinue reading “What did I learn from relapsing?”

Daffodils; a symbol of hope?

My attitude of excess continued into my alcohol-free life. Where, previously, I had wanted to be fucked up as much as possible I now wanted wellness as much as possible. I wanted spiritual enlightenment and a six-pack by the weekend… I’d quit drinking on a Thursday. If it wasn’t happening yesterday then it wasn’t happeningContinue reading “Daffodils; a symbol of hope?”

Quitting drinking; expanded my world, and my mind.

Alcohol made my world small. I would fluctuate between work, the pub and home. It was like being a sprite in a video game. A character on Sims controlled by a sadist. Or a poor player trying to battle his way through a dungeon. Managing to overcome hurdles but never really advancing. Externally I agedContinue reading “Quitting drinking; expanded my world, and my mind.”

My problems with Alcoholics Anonymous

I want to start by saying that I am grateful for AA. I am grateful that it exists as a place. The idea that alcoholics should meet to share a message of positivity and life beyond alcohol has been fundamental in my sobriety. Unfortunately, the simplicity of connecting is lost in a lot of ideology,Continue reading “My problems with Alcoholics Anonymous”