20 lessons learned on the journey back from Hell…

It didn’t happen overnight. It was a constant downward spiral over many years that lead me to the gates of Hell. One terrible mistake after another. One morally bankrupt decision masked by a lie too many. Each fuck up another step downwards. As the heat rose, I needed more liquid to cool me down. Eventually,Continue reading “20 lessons learned on the journey back from Hell…”

Dealing with emotions in sobriety

Towards the end of my drinking days, I would drink to blackout six days a week. I didn’t do seven because if I could go without alcohol one day a week then I didn’t have a problem. That was the reasoning. In the light of sobriety, the excuses I made were madness but my entire lifeContinue reading “Dealing with emotions in sobriety”

Overcoming Boredom and Fear in Sobriety

I spent most of my nights in the pub. Duped by some ludicrous delusion. The promise of greater things lead me to the trap. Every night I would fall for it. The next day I would vow not to fall for it again. Yet with symptoms similar to amnesia I would stagger back, thinking thisContinue reading “Overcoming Boredom and Fear in Sobriety”

Sobriety; a life beyond your wildest dreams?

“What do you want to do for a living?” I was sixteen years old when this question first had weight behind it. In my head, it had been translated to “What do you want to do for the next fifty years of your life until you retire?” I didn’t know. All I knew was thatContinue reading “Sobriety; a life beyond your wildest dreams?”

10 lessons from gratitude, spirituality and the quest for happiness

By nature, I’m a cynic. Suspicious to the point of paranoia and an ardent demander for proof. For years, I would pooh-pooh spirituality as new age commercialisation of archaic practices. I still believe some are but I cannot deny that gratitude and spirituality have transformed my outlook exponentially. In my drinking days, I was angry.Continue reading “10 lessons from gratitude, spirituality and the quest for happiness”

5 lessons from Five Years of Sobriety

Just over a month ago, I crossed the half-decade without drinking alcohol. A remarkable achievement to many, a sensible one to me. An achievement none the less that has taught me a few things that I would like to share. I have difficulty sharing experiences as I often try and think of what would benefitContinue reading “5 lessons from Five Years of Sobriety”

My Sobriety, Health and Well Being Toolbox

At the height of my hedonism, I weighed 18 stone 6 pounds (117kg). And being 5’ 10” (177cm) meant I had a BMI of 36, I was obese. I felt like a stegosaurus, lumbering through life, consuming everything in my path. My heaviest weight coincided with some of my lowest points mentally. On reflection, IContinue reading “My Sobriety, Health and Well Being Toolbox”

Sobriety: Expectations vs Reality

What would you do if you had more money and more time? Spend time with your kids? Improve your golf swing? Travel the world? Do that qualification you’ve always wanted to do? Buy that car you always wanted? Treat your kids? Your spouse? Well you can. If there is two things that stopping drinking gaveContinue reading “Sobriety: Expectations vs Reality”

This song saved my life…

It was just another day like all the others. I was standing at the side of the road, forcing myself to smoke a cigarette, somewhere between drunk and hungover, waiting for a lift to work. I did this every morning and I felt like this every morning. Eventually, the car arrived and I got in,Continue reading “This song saved my life…”

What I learned in my first year sober

For the first six weeks of not drinking, I fought the cravings on my own. When I saw the way it was heading I HAD to reach out for help. The phone call I made to AA was the first time I spoke to someone who understood. They understood the cravings. They understood the needContinue reading “What I learned in my first year sober”