Clearing out the past…

Some memories are like burned paper. Charred but legible. We tried to destroy them but their blackened remains still lay in the fireplace of our mind. Some of the more negative memories, ones that should have been processed and forgotten, hang proudly above the fireplace. Where our achievements should be the pride of place thereContinue reading “Clearing out the past…”

The greatest compliment…

It came from someone that had known me for a good few years. We had met whilst I was in the madness of addiction. We where two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl full of vodka. She isn’t an alcoholic. She has her crosses to bear. We were mixed up in different ways. She hadContinue reading “The greatest compliment…”

A letter to my eighteen year old self

Hey up, Charlie, I know you will probably dismiss everything I say as nonsense but I ask you to read on and reread until what I tell you sinks in. I know you believe you need to live with reckless abandon because you are destined for failure. So why try? Well, I am here toContinue reading “A letter to my eighteen year old self”

The Great Reconnect…

Many people, myself included, drank alcohol to escape themselves. Or in some instances to try to be someone else. The thought of being a different person is often fuelled by a deep self-loathing. Possibly from some trauma. Or through repetition of negative sayings. This could be from a family member. Or even sensitivity to theContinue reading “The Great Reconnect…”

7 reasons to quit drinking…

Alcohol adverts constantly show an idealised version of reality to tempt us into the fantasy of alcohol. Young beautiful people frolic joyfully around in exotic locations. All smiles and laughter. It heightens the temptation. But it wasn’t like that for me. There was laughter but it was often followed by tears. There was frolicking butContinue reading “7 reasons to quit drinking…”

Dark night of the soul…

It seemed like it happened in a week. A quick decline of mood that brought a burst of tears that covered my face for two hours. But the uncontrollable sobbing was the beginning of the escape. After travelling the world, my consciousness felt too big for my head. Like I was trying to squeeze twoContinue reading “Dark night of the soul…”

Living one day at a time…

2372 days, one day at a time. That’s how long it’s been since I last drank alcohol. The time has passed quickly. The initial panic of the early days of sobriety is a distant memory. Those lonely days of uncertainty. And second-guessing every decision. The fog slowly clearing to reveal a world that I livedContinue reading “Living one day at a time…”

Alcohol addiction and controlled drinking…

“If you are trying to control something, it is already out of control!” I have maybe shown my cards too early with the above quote but the concept of controlled drinking fascinates me. I tried everything to control my drinking; Changing drinks quite often. Drinking spirits only. Not drinking spirits. Only drinking spirits when IContinue reading “Alcohol addiction and controlled drinking…”

A letter to myself in depression

*Depression is a horrible situation to be in. The writing below is what I said to myself. It is no way meant to undermine anyone’s struggle with mental health. It was just what I needed to hear to get me over the last hurdle towards recovering. I sought out help, talked to people about itContinue reading “A letter to myself in depression”

The tree with the toxic leaf…

The increasingly bare branches of a tree demonstrate that it is preparing for change. The leaves have served their purpose. They got the tree through the summer. Allowed it to get ready for the difficult winter. The tree will flourish again next year. With new leaves. The process goes around and around. Shedding. Growing. Blossoming.Continue reading “The tree with the toxic leaf…”