There’s still time to change the road your on. That was the line from the iconic Led Zeppelin song “Stairway to Heaven,” that accompanied the delectable sight of the Grand Teton Mountain range as we toured through the USA. It had so much meaning because I may have been 3000 miles from home but, emotionally, I was a million miles away from the person I used to be. The sight of those mountains surrounding us was enough to bring me to tears because for years I only saw negativity and toxicity. When I drank alcohol my mind was a cocktail of anger and isolation causing me to be blinkered to the beauty that surrounded me on a daily basis. I consumed anything to fill a void in my soul, yet the things I consumed caused the void. I was dehumanised. The light inside me was diminished.
The drinking road was a ring road. A NASCAR track, that I went around expecting something different but that change never came…
Until I chose to change the road I was on.
The sober road is one of freedom. Of Beauty. Of simplistic wonder that can make me question the very essence of reality. As I no longer seek to destroy myself I no longer seek out the toxicity in life. I now seek positivity and beauty. Adventure and wonder. I am free and life is short. Too short to live in a state of misery, like I had done for many years whilst drinking. Many of those days I recalled as we approached those mountains. I remembered the numerous times during my drinking days that I had been down and out. Broken and blacked out. Sobbing tears to myself in a pit of hopelessness. Desperate but clueless of how to make it stop.
Thankfully life intervened and I had the chance to change roads.
I know where the drinking road took me. I’m not so sure where the sober road takes me. I think that’s half the fun.